i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
