So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
my poor anus
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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