no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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