i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
