If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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