Define "chronic" masturbator.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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