I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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