dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
