Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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