It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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