She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize