whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
