8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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