we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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