kristin has been a bad kristin
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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