i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
