I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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