the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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