Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize