i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
