My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
