haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
