I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize