She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
