Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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