You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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