I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
