the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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