there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just found puke in my bra..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Randomize