Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Me. At least after what I've been through.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
