I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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