I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize