while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
