Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
