i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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