Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
