Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
