I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize