i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
