If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's always time for handjobs
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
