Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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