the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
