apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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