Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
