just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
