you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
