My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
