I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
