There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
