They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
