Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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