He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
