I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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