I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
