So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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