I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
