I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
