yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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