He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
