He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
