omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
